First blog post

Hi everyone ,

My name is Anissa and i just created this blog because i wanted to share some of my adventures and thoughts . i beleive that i see life from a different angle and i wanted to share it somehow . i am just an ordinary person who lives in Tunisia and i am 22 years old .

 

blah-blah

i dont know at this point if i need : to talk to someone i care about , or to a s tranger or to take an infinite nap or to eat some fuckingdelicious food, or maybe have a drink or two or three.. or just deal with  the fucking current situation . 

i would liketofeel some love someone who cares , i know that i havefriends taht they do but i need some attention these days , i wanna be able tocry and be sad as fuck without thinking about how people would feel about that. i am a big mess right now .

23/11

20160322_104017i dnt know what i want to write to be honest . i just feel like doin it . so i am going to describe what it looks like on the outside and on the inside . so i am just chillin in my room as always looking at my laptop listening to some dash berlin songs with my headphones on , lookin sometimes at my facebook and having an episode from Lucifer waiting for me . on he inside , well it doesnt look messy but it is confusing and it doesnt wanna talk to me . i am stuck between two different worlds that are mine that i want to create .

long time no see

hey , it feels like ages i did not come here , to be honest i forgot about it but now i realize that it has been my diary for a while and as today i am feeling like crap i figured to write down something here . Well , i really need time for myself i guess .. i ‘vnt been doing much for myself lately u. i’ve been seeing friends , family , studying but not doing much for me . well at least the only thing that i love is watching youtube videos , and reading harry potter these days but it has been taken away from me what i mean is that pewdipie decided to take a break and i felt so damn empty , i know that it sounds ridiculos but i am used to it now it is part of me , my ritual . So now i need to find something to do for myself . i also feel donw because i m stressed out and afraid as always about study and courses and exams but i know at the same time that im gonna do my best . the thing that scraes me the most about life at this point is my decisions ; is the fact that i am making the right decisins or not . that drives me crazy man .anyway , i dnt know how i feel anymore , i kind force myself sometimes to feel things or not to feel things and i hate it. i would like to find myself more . that’s it , so i guess i need more time for myself and to think about what i really want .

don’t mind that crossing though !

is it okay if i consestantly think about him ? after all this time is it true feelings or just an empty hole . i know that i mean something to him ive always been and always be that special someone that he once knew but it is not enough to get the big experience to live the whole adventure . it is not enough to love me . i guess the tiing was bad or we just dont mach and im too stubborn to face it . i need someone better and more matchable for me . i need someone that is for me not someone that i like a little bit and try hard to change myself to make me matchable . that is like the worst thing that i do to myself everytime and that is why i always end up by being the one who gets hurt .i have to love myself . i love myself and i wanna set goals and dreams and share them with someone 🙂 it is not alot to ask i guess . anyway i know it will come someoday and it is gonna be a fucking awesome person that i will love so much and that he will be soo in love with me the whole life . and he will have blu eyes :3 XOXO1654093_840738175952406_844996412_n

Heart battle

it is one of those days , when you have a billion things that need to be done but you aint feelin it . it is this day where i start question myself about facts in my life : if i am missing out things or pretending to not see them . it is this time where in my head i need perfection but i just have the opposite . it is this day where you question yourself about what do you want and what do you need . it is okay to want what you deserve , but what do i deserve ? how can i measure it ? I mean i feel good , happy appreciated and pretty amazing . but it feels odd to think that it can happen this way , the other way around . not as i imagine it or i beleive that it is how it should be . But , wait a second it is usual me who wants to undersatnd eveything in a small amount of time and i shouldnt . This time i must understand if it is real or not . but do i have enough time ? can i have it after all these years ? i don’t think so .

#Lemonade

Hold up they dont love you like i love you ,

Slow down they don’t love you like i love you ,

{…}

what’s worst lookin jealous or crazy ? i’d rather be crazy .

 

 

A part of me forgotten ,denied and dark .

~

I want you to show me your darkesst sides , your sins , the other side of yourself . It is easy to love someone who is kind , beautiful and funny but falling in love is different . It is about to love each part of that person . To connect , to grow together .

Let me teach you my best part , let me show you my way , my dreams , my fantasies . Show me too , i wanna know , i wanna taste it  . Give me that bitter taste of you and let me fall in love with it .

Sunday afternoon

Hey ,

it is sunday and i am spending it at the coffee studyong . i got out from home to change a little bit and i am on my own , i though it is going to be boring but i actually like it .

Just chillin here drinking and eating sweet things , doing what i have to do and with a though that i am going home with that feeling of satisfaction that i did something ! i am also studying trying to be as much beneficial as possible so another good point for me !

it is just me and thoughs here ..

good evening 🙂

Secret potion

If you ask me about love , relationships or do you like someone , i really do not know what to give you as an answear . Love has always been an image for me since the last and only time . Now , i find myself trapped in a game that i do not specifically like . it has been a while now that it stoped , no special reason to be honest . but now i know that i moved on with my life and i’ve done so much and he did too . but he is still here , i still see him and talk to him . even tho i knew other guys and he definetly have alot of fans . the secret is , that little look that nobody notice besides you and him , that little something that says we are still attracted to each other but it is not enough . it was never enough . i am not the girl for him and he is not the guy for me , i guess . i know that  i intimidate him somehow and he likes spending time talking to me because at some point i was kind of special for a while . but as i said it wasn’t enough . it is sad actually , to know that you are not enough for someone . the scenario here doesnt say such a thing  but i feel this way and i hate it . and now i will do anything to make him say or prove that he likes me back . the truth is this feeling , this connection stops me for being myself and lookin for someone who really deserves me And ,i need to feel that i need to beleive that . it is time now to find that special someone that can understand you and that you can build your memories and adventures together . 🙂

New discover

A magnificient song that i just discovered from a movie . it talks about a prisoner who has lost hope for life cause he was private of his freedom and his rights .

Enjoy